Drowned by My Demons
by Atropa Haven
Summary: Several years ago, harry potter was thrown into azkaban. He escaped, and hasn't been seen since.
1. The Man of The Hour

**Warnings:** umm.. threesomes? though not detailed...homophobes really shouldnt be reading fanfiction; let alone MY stories. Character DEATH (sorta) Heavy Manipulation. Parsletounge..gay-pride..and Grandpa Voldie/Bumblebee will be explained....eventually  
I'm completely demented. You should not read this if you are not ready to be emotionally scarred for life...I'm serious. This fic dissolves all reason in the Harry Potter universe.

This story will not be continued. Well, I am quite sure it won't...um.. I'll get back to you on it… but I better get a lot of death-threats if you really think I should continue it...and. i sort of think it's crappy but wonderful.

I obviously can't make up my mind...make it for me?

Reviews are strongly unappreciated. Death threats are welcome flames are appreciated. Constructive critics should be shot. Kudos, hot chocolate, and Milano cookies to the person with the best death-threat.

**Rating:...**R for language and insinuations you have been warned.

* * *

Harry greedily inhaled and exhaled extremely, looking up in the heat of the day, enjoying the freedom. His run became a slow trot, as he ran after his children. he looked down at himself, his somewhat slender, yet muscular frame covered in sweat, his now long, and somewhat red-tinged as well as some-what manageable hair pulled in a braid down his back, dark tan gracing his skin, scar gone, not to mention the absence of glasses. He smiled. 

A sound behind him, coming from the bushes. Harry turned, glaring at the bush, dagger in hand, until a blood-red and black snake came forward, winding it's way up his white shirt, and black dress-pants. He picked up the snake, and whispered to it.

well evissss, it is good to see you once more, I do hope you are not here to kill me? he said obviously amused

eviss answered: well of coursssse my lord of daemons, I would, but the fun would be taken from the hunt. Essspecially now that you don't put up a fight, and asss without me, you would not know that the school soon welcomes your twin snakes.

Harry arched a brow: really, that's odd, I could have sworn that they normally didn't come for another two-weeks.

if it isss not too much to assk, what is troubling you my master?

The pain was evident in his eyes,

I'm sorry evisss, I am afraid for my daughter, as well as afraid for my son, we could put hair coloring in both of their hair, and perhaps send him with a pet snake, but my child's ability to look like me, has never ceased. I saw a witch look at them puzzled for a few instances the other day, on the way to that Muggle music shop. But does he really have to go? If the owl is coming this early it is obvious that Albus is trying to get a new golden-boy or girl, seeing the power of their auras. Plus, I have no doubt they still think I'm guilty.

The dark snake looked solemnly at her master; he was taking this not too well. It still showed in his eyes.

well my lord, maybe you could deny the presence of magic as you do with your family? You may bind me to the young snakes, so that they may not separate ussss, but i must ask master, when they need you, and you are with your offspring, and mate, will you return to them?

The question nagged at Harry's brain

we'll see, we'll see. They will need the training though, once Tommy boy finds I have an heir, he will go after daemon and demetrie, and after all that has happened, I doubt I could trust them, but, it must be done. Now I just have to pull off being a Muggle. i just hope they don't send anyone that i know. Explaining that I'm a wizard to my children or Eva would be very hard. I just wish things could have happened differently

The snake named eviss backed into the recesses of the bushes as the children came forward, running towards their father. Meanwhile, their father looked nowhere- a dazed expression on his face, as he remembered.

Flashback

_Blood. The word that could describe everything_

_Tears. The rain that could leave even the most powerful un-awares_

_Hagrid. The friend that died believing in betrayal, see him raise the dagger to his throat, then fall down and Avada Kadavra his first contact to the wizarding world. for the most part-he was --_

_Stunned. he looked on in horror at his reflection, stabbing over-and over again the form of his best-half-giant- friend._

_Ron. "you BLOODY KILLED him! What's wrong with YOU! YOU FREAK! HOW COULD YOU!YOUR JUST STANDING THERE! AFTER WHAT YOU DID? I CAN'T BELIEVE I EVER THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FREIND"_

_Hermione. Crying in tears as they took him away, and finally restrained Ron._

_Sirius. The dark grim-like dog echoed in his mind and dreams, or rather his-_

_Nightmares. A veil, a snake-like man, a green light, a noble fight, death, all his--_

_Fault. He blinked as he entered the hall, all eyes turned to him in murderous glares. Ron came up to him shouting, a punch a kick, nobody restrained him._

_Jail. Happiness sucked from his consciences, the truth keeping him alive, from losing hs mind to-_

_Wonder. Who would believe his innocence? What? He had a visitor, surely not-_

_Draco Malfoy. The whisper in the ears, and the watch that was a --_

_Port-key. The familiar tug at is navel, the swirling colors ready for a new--_

_Identity. He walked up to the police officer._

_"Excuse m, sir?"_

_"Yes what is it." said a somewhat twitchy and irritated voice (a/n: oh my god! this is my first author's note! um... yeah. twitchy is such a great adjective, dont you think?)_

_"i was just wondering sir, if you could tell me who i am? Or where I am, as i haven't a clue."_

_"What?"_

_"I mean just that, I can't remember a name, any name, i can't remember."_

_"Come with me"_

_End flashback_

Harry smiled at the thought of the over-protective man, Josh, as the policeman had turned out had turned into a somewhat father figure. He worked hard to get Harry what he needed. Harry was given a academic fund, and un-employment check, as well as a new name. He was no longer Harry James Potter, the-boy-who-lived. He was Joshua Cane Andrews, the-boy-with-no-past. His children Daemon, and Demetrie Andrews, tackled the boy-who-lived, unaware of his past, only a day from being introduced to a new world. Joshua didn't look forward to sending his children to the wizarding world, but he would pretend to accept it, with wonder and bewilderment. How oh _how_ was Eva going to take this?


	2. Eva is bouncing the ferret

_p.s. I don't own Harry Potter, and don't try to write jkrowling, cause all they do is send you a really bad picture of her. And from here on, from other points of view, Harry will be called Josh, or Joshua... oh well on to the story!_

**The letters**

Looking around the kitchen at the table, she saw her husband. Joshua sat at the table in just his pajama bottoms, sipping his coffee in the morning air. He looked as if he was expecting something. I really wish I could have had him to myself, but he loves someone other than me, even if he shows the passion we have. I look out the window. the sun was just coming up, and the sun bounce off the red-black hair that framed his face, and gave him a sense of unnatural decisiveness, and he could send looks that pierced you, no matter who you were, that's why she hadn't been able to lie to him, although it wasn't fair, nobody knew of his past, except maybe_ him_. But now was not the time to think such things. i wonder what he's waiting for? she sighed, her long almost white-blonde hair reflecting the sun-light, she walked up behind him, and hugged her bare-husband's chest, the muscles with relation to his body was perfect, as if he had played sports, but nothing she could place. She was broken out of her thoughts as a smiling face pressed lips like petals to her own, when all of a sudden..

"Eeeeeewww, mum dad, don't you have a room?" said a falsely malicious and teasingly sweet sarcastic voice

"You wouldn't want us to become emotionally corrupt now do you?" said a fairly thicker and deeper voice

Joshua turned to her." you know I'm not sure, how old are they again/ 25?40?" he seemed to be suppressing laughter, after all, their children were, well very mature for their age if anything.

Daemon started to pout. "We're not old like YOU. We are ten years old!"

Demetrie spoke up as her father started to chuckle into his hands which were placed upon the table, he seemed to be convulsing." my dear brother?"

"Yes ickle trixielins?"

"Its our BIRTHDAY TODAY YOU BIG PRAT!"

Joshua burst into laughter, and I couldn't help but join, Daemon looked confused. How cute, no matter what, they were still her children. She had held them.

"Our birthday is Sunday, not Saturday!"

Since my dear husband was unable to talk since he was on the floor rolling in laughter, i explained to him "it is Sunday dear, you slept all through Saturday"

"Dumb prat" a certain little girl mumbled, and as i shot her a murderous glare, the slightly, blonde, raven-red haired children looked steadily at their parents, Demetrie acting with a fake-innocence, as daemon muttered an incoherent "oh"

Joshua wasn't quite done, when a certain arrival came.

i heard it first

The owl swooped low over the kitchen as my children spied it with glee, and my wife stared dumb-struck at the owl that invaded their kitchen. i called the bird to me. my family looked at me shocked, the twins muttering in union "cool" Eva looked at me, a stern look, that would send McGonagall heading for the hills. I took the letters, and motioned towards the window after handing the bird a piece of bacon from the plate that Eva just brought out. I visibly gulped. She looked at me, rage mixed with confusion. So since, we have two letters, I hand one calmly to my wife and hope that being the boy-who-lived will help me. Eva could be SCARY. She looked confused for a moment, then saw me break open the seal of a letter he was holding addressed to Demetrie. So she opened the one to Daemon. She gasped reading the first line, and then fainted. i shook my head, she knew, I had told her, so had the twin's other father(a/n :did any of you catch that? look back, and read that sentence again).

But still! I turned to the expectant 11-year-olds."Well looks like you've been accepted to Hogwarts."

Demi(or Demetrie) spoke up" why would that make mum faint?" she was clearly confused, daemon looked shocked, and even more lost than his sister.

"Well Demi, " I explained" maybe you should read your mail then?"

I looked at the twins as the both read the first lie together with shock, they turned to each other, their jaws dropped and then looked up at me for conformation. I looked at them beaming.

"so, it says a _wizard or witch_ will be coming to help you get your stuff for school, and explaining something about the train, I can' t wait to see who they sent.. Hopefully Draco. Anyway so since, whoever it is isn't expected until 3'o clock, I suggest you two take a bath, you _stink_!"

I chuckled softly as Demetrie and daemon rushed towards the bathrooms, and looked back at my wife. She had wide blue eyes unblinking. I shake my head.

"You know we should go, I don't truly trust some stranger with our kids, and I'd like to check this out for myself." she just nodded, then jumped out of her stupor. "I've got to get ready! she squeaked, and ran up to the bedroom, I joined her, and thought of wearing something, ....intimidating. So I slipped into the room, my wife in her closet, i go to the closet on the other side of the room, as i have about as many clothes as she has. i pick a black t-shirt with an emblazed dragon on the front, with long dress-slacks, and leather boots., I put a snake pendent around my neck, with red emblazed ruby for eyes, and a matching earring. I do my hair in a back braid, letting out the bangs to cover the scar that is barely visible just in the hairline, a far cry from where it was before. Yet would be recognizable to any wizard. I pull a key from a drawer on the dresser, my Gringott's vault. It was a second one, that I had put aside just in case. I stand, still looking at it, and feel eyes. I turn to find my wife staring at me,

"Trying to intimidate are you?" she wrinkled her nose. "I've always wondered what that key was for."

"Actually it goes to a vault in the wizarding bank. You'll have to pretend you don't know anything about magic Eva. But please try not to be embarrassing?" she shot a glare at me, while i smirked; she saw it and faltered then giggled, and kissed me barely touching my lips. Damn, I forgot, Draco was coming today.

"Hey dad! Does this mean we get to go shopping?" piped up a voice from the hallway.

He turned towards the only son and daughter he had, and smiled

"Yes m'dears, it does"

Squeals of delight were there, and i caught what my wife was wearing, yeah, and she said i was intimidating, she was flaunting her good looks in a white peasant top, and faded cut-offs, showing off her magnificent legs, she was wearing a long pure white, sweatshirt and white high-tops. the twins both had black shirts with snakes somewhere on them, and shorts as well.

"you guys look great!" he glanced at his watch 2:59"and just in time!"

As if on cue the doorbell rung, and the twins bounded down the stairs towards the main-room. Harry followed with Eva not far from the side of him. he walked up to the door, while ushering the kids into the living room with his wife, he wanted to be the first one to see who they had sent, he exhaled slowly, and opened the door.. And there stood Hermione Ganger. it took a lot of effort to keep his jaw from dropping, when he noticed that she had boy about his twin's age standing next to her, with frizzy, flaming red hair, he smiled warmly, even if they abandoned him, he was glad that herm had marry Ronnikens, they were just so perfect for each-other. I invited them in, next through the door came Ron, looking bewildered in a Muggle house, especially one so solely decorated like this, colors adorned the walls in deep reds, gold, greens, blues, silvers, and bronze, all as elegant as Hogwarts itself. Harry coughed to get Ron's attention.

"Hello my name is Joshua Andrews. Please come in, the twins and my wife are _dying_ to meet, you, haven't been able to sit still since this morning when we were told you were coming, what are your names again?" he said, knowing it was the polite ting to do. Hermione and Ron stuck out their hands as Harry took them and introduced themselves, and a _James_ Weasley, he'd have to ask about that...he led them to the sitting room, where his family stood to greet them and they made introductions.


	3. Drowned, and Dried

**umm.. you know what? the death threats iv'e been getting stink. here's one i wrote:(and something i was looking for)**

in ten minutes, i am going to hack into your computer, find its transfer code and download all your personal data. i will cross reference your computer's company consumer information server and find your address. i shall come to your place of residence in a ski mask and superwoman uniform and pointlessy poison all your food with powdered aconite( including the donuts. for the coppers). i shall then perform a sex - change operation on your person, and replace your clothes with that of the opposite sex i shall leave an identification of an ex-convict on your bedside with your matching features and new gender. i shall then continue by draining your blood painfully from your body and replacing it with embalming fluid. (it really hurts) i shall then wrap you in a fireblanket (modesty must be maintained)and fill your toilet with alcohol before lighting it on fire...(cackles evily "see! see! that's what the fire blanket was for!") then planting the weopons from the o.j. simpson trial on your bed side table. now, you, having fortunatly lived long enough to figure out how i was framing you despite the lack of blood, and the emence pain, convulse widly before choking on your nasal fluids. you. are. now. DEAD.

i shall then call the police and inform themthat you drank some bad lemonade (hence the vomiting) and i think you killed someone. they will come to investigate, eat your powered donuts and die as well. i will walk away and you will be pinned for thier murders.( i mean who puts aconite on thier donuts?) your corpse will be decapitated and your head put on a spike to sit in front of the white house. and i shall laugh.  
please...

update?

**Secrets, lies, facades, and a long ass chapter.  
**_Twenty minutes later all characters sit in living room_

'_Damn it! Where is he!?'_

"Hun, where's ferret? haaallooooooo? Anybody home? I swear, he doesn't space out like this often maybe he needs to eat.."

He turned to his wife," no Eva I don't need to eat, I'm just wondering where the ferrets gone off to.. i mean, he's the magical one, god i wish he were here,.."

Looking at Hermione and Ron's shocked faces he chuckled...

"You honestly thought we were Muggles huh?"

"Well, yes I suppose we did, seeing as we didn't see you in school, but of course.. You didn't have to go to Hogwarts I suppose..."

"Well of course no 'mione, he probably went to Durmstrang"

"No, home school... Pitiful thing really, paranoid bastard.."

Everyone looked at him with a look of questioning glances. "Oh, did i say that out loud?"

_'Bloody arrogant wrench, when does her vocabulary come in handy?'_

He got nods: "Well home schooling is dull.. Especially when you have such a _mentor..."_ Hermione noticed the look he gave...'_damn voldie, just couldn't teach without crutacius..'_

Ron looked at him weirdly '_oh yes I forgot, I called Draco ferret, that was the name that Ron gave him after all...' _"Um, Mr. Andrews, who is this ferret person, cause' I know this one guy at school--"

"Draconis Lucien Andrews-Malfoy" he shot a glance at his wife." my husband"

He got the desired effect... Hermione looked shocked, her mouth open slightly, her brow twitched just a bit, as if she was thinking hard, like the looks she gave when she found something particularly interesting to read. a smile graced his lips _'well she hasn't changed at all. shouldn't think about that, she betrayed you..'_ Ron had his mouth wide open, gaping his mouth with fish-like quality. little James looked like he was fighting a bout of giggles.. And losing...badly._' no doubt just as coherent and trusting as me… I wonder why they named him that… after my father, you'd think they would avoid anything related to me...oh man, Draco almost home… This will be… Interesting. To say the least' _he looked back to his audience from the clock that now showed Draco in the 'home' position.

"But- you already have a wife..." Hermione started, but Harry waved it away (er Joshua, whatever)

"Being immortal has advantages, it is necessary to take more than one mate in a lifetime, if your first can't produce children. The twins are actually the result of all three of us."

"If Draco is your husband, why did you need this talk, I mean you're obviously well rectified to the situation and-"

"Hardly, I've never been in the magical world, in fact, I've only been studying spell for the last ten years. Grand dad thought it would be so grand of me to learn magic.."

"HEY MIDJITS! WHERE ARE YOU?" ahh the unmistakable drawl of a Malfoy (a/n does happy dance.. i luvvvv draco!)

"FATHER!"

"FERRET!!??"

Draco bounded into the room, a smile abroad on his face, something that left the Weasley's in fascinated horror. He hugged his children with ferociousness, before even acknowledging the other people in the room.

"afternoon love" he said in a soft tone, barely above a whisper as he swept over and kissed his lover, Draco responding equally, and turning to kiss his wife as well, before turning to the Weasleys, a smirk now set in place. "You didn't expect me to be a total cold-hearted arse did you?" he quirked a brow in a mocking way, taking in with delight-ment, they're speechless predicament. As it was true they expected him to be an ass, the way he was with his potion's class, still not as bad as Snape, but just below, just. Joshua cocked his head to one side as he looked at Draco

"Well, what are we going to do? Did you talk to bumblebee? What are we going to do? We can't take them for regular feedings, and its going to look weird when they don't show up at meals..." josh (a/n isn't the nick-name cute?)Smiled sadistically, and Draco suddenly shook off the terror filled face he had been holing _'oh Draco, do you honestly think they are smart enough to figure out what we are talking about?'_ "Well?"

"oh bumblebee is just fine and dandy, the house elves will accommodate them somehow, although, it's a weird request, he decided, no matter what house they're in, they'll need their own rooms...of course as they'll be in Slytherin that won't be a problem there will be loads of dungeons, an they can live next to my quarters.."

"Don't doubt that, totally Slytherin.. Dumbledore is going to be kicked off his horse.." he practically whispered this, but with his acute hearing Joshua picked it up..

"i quite agree with you Mr. Weasley, no children of mine will be in Slytherin, dungeons are terribly cold, and as a wise brother of mine once said, "_the dungeons wouldn't get warmer, if Snape danced in a pink leather bound tu-tu,emmiting every Slytherin a-flame, his 'greasy-git' hair on fire, singing 'it's hot in here' at the top of his lungs'."_ he was such a brother.. wish i could have known him while he was alive.. defiantly Gryffindor.. my kids"

'_Technically he is, but it would be funny if you thought he wasn't, and it would help explain why the twins are hissing at each other..'_

"Well Malfoys have always been in Slytherin!"

"So?"

Draco stuck out his tongue and pouted as everyone looked amused.

"Who's your bro? I like him!" Ron looked smug, and grinned like a Cheshire cat at Draco who was fuming.

"oh I got that out of my bro's diary, of course you _did_ like him, I mean, until you turned your backs on him for his supposed _'murdering of innocence'_ and all you know.. Well he's around here somewhere.. OI HARRY?! WHERE ARE YOU.. THE WEASLEY'S ARE HERE!"

Draco looked slightly amused as the Weasleys visibly paled as white as ghosts.. James started shaking. the twins stopped their hissing with equal smirks as their father and Harry looked amused, and shook his head

"Finally, you know I understand parsletounge too dearest daughter of mine, but if you don't stop chatting with your brother, you won't get the chance to hear that very annoyed set of snakes that Draco is attempting to hide from you.. oh drake, by the way, I'd take your hand out of your pocket, they "are" poisonous."

Draco said nothing, but pulled his hand out of his pocket, as a ghostly Harry-like figure, a boy that looked gaunt in tattered robes, and broken glasses, dull eyes, matted hair, a bold shape of the lightning scar, emerged.'_ this is what I looked like when I escaped, dull, lifeless, tattered, and dead.'_ the twins didn't seam to be perturbed by the ghost, they knew it was an act.. They saw it when the man daddy called 'bumblebee, or moldiewart ' came over... it was effective...they hissed at the ghost, knowing that dad could understand him and make the 'ghost' act accordingly... the 'Harry' did

./dad... make him laugh? It would freak them out!/

The eyes of the ghost sparkled with life, and looked at the Weasley's, as he shook his head, totting, and almost giggling, as his shoulders quaked a bit. And looked solemnly again... Then spoke. "is that right? You named your son James? How odd.. I see you met my niece and nephew, and my dear twin brother" at this he rolled his eyes, as 'Joshua' snorted and answered... "Well, if I'm that bad.. Why do you haunt us so?" 'Harry' smiled devilishly and looked pointedly at Draco.. "for the midnight entertainment of course!" he said cheerily in a sing-song voice that reminded every adult in the room of Dumbledore...Draco started to loose control of his silent laughter, and it turned into giggles. The kids were rolling on the floor.. The Weasleys still hadn't waken up, or spoken, since the 'ghost' appeared. But Hermione finally perked up, a wry smile gracing her lips... "How did you die? And when?"

A sarcastic and dramatic jump as Harry seemed to act as if he didn't notice they were in the room: "well hello to you too 'mione, I've been fine, haunting my brothers house, pulling pranks on Dumbledore, Voldemort, and Draco.. cause' its so damned fun.." a dramatic pause as Harry seemed to have his eyes glaze over in fond memories as Hermione looked affronted, and Ron started to join the laughter with his son and the rest of the room,"

Hermione turned to him "PRANKS? _ON VOLDEMORT?!?!!?"_

'Harry' looked at his nails.. "yes mione' it's quite fun actually, he seemed really bummed that even in death I managed to pull a prank on him.. He was mad when he found out he couldn't kill me....but got over it, you know, he's really fun once you have him over for tea, and he looks loads better without those special 'evil cosmetics' as he puts it. Right joshie boy?"

"Why yes Harry, he looks gods great in leather pants, but he is our granddad.. Wouldn't want to try incest would we?"

'Harry' scoffed.. "I cant do anything, drowned trying to escape the dementors… Glad you found my body though… wouldn't be fun to haunt fish near the castle.. Oh gods, I would have been stuck with myrtle!" a look of disgust crossed his face, but turned into a smile, and even Hermione smiled..

"Well I'm glad you found peace in something Harry, I know you need it.. I mean, here, everyone thought you were a murderer.."

"And you didn't?" Harry asked with a cold tone, narrowing his eyes

"At first I did.." she looked down." but I didn't later.."

'Harry visibly softened: "thanks mione' I'm glad I got a break too.."

"Hold on Harry?"

"Yeah Ron"

"What were you talking about cosmetics?

"Ya know how horrible Tommy boy looks?"

Ron looked confused: "yeeeaaahh..."

"it's makeup, simple spell turns it pink"

"But your a ghost...You can't" at that moment a white spell ran past Ron, as he froze. 'Harry quirked an eyebrow: "can't what?"

"Okay dearest brother of mine, i think its time for you to go...the twins... both sets are tired, and they need feeding tomorrow. You know every few days and all...plus i daresay you're sooo disturbing.."

'Harry' nodded and became invisible (actually vanishing as he's an illusion) "whatever"

Some "bye Harry's were heard from the Weasleys as Draco solemnly handed Harry (the real one) two galleons an rolled his eyes, giving the barley audible Weasley's an exasperated sigh..

"Well since I'm here now, all vamps, snakes, and veela must sleep, so Weasley's if you would? I think I can relay everything.."

The Weasleys reluctantly left the manor in a half-dazed state, James happy to have two friends that knew parsletounge, and that he had actually _met_ Harry Potter!


	4. The wonders of carbon monoxide

**Chapter Four(**finnaly)

* * *

Dude. i am so sooooOOO sorry. i'm a sucky author. leaving you guys hanging for that long. but i ened up in this uber smart-student heavy mad skills college advancement course at my high school and got tottally bogged down. my writing skills have majorly improved since starting this story, and i can barely look at it without revulsion. i have a new idea,- and if i can get some help, i'll be writing a totally new story. it's much better than this, with tons of character bashing and independieant and unique harry; meets merlin personifyied.. but i've got the next 3 and a half weeks off with nothing better to do than write stories, so i will. it will take a while to get out, but it will be there. i promise. now, i don't promise lightly. so it will be there. even if it takes me two years. it will be there. though i'm hoping that it's not so long.so, for the meantime, i've given you this last chapter to pore over, pine over, and to help the faltering of a fiction. and , perhaps, help with your time of mourning.as well as the deep deppression that has no doubtably come over at you to find that such a piece of fiction is to die.

* * *

_and now- we begin the final chapter of Drowned by My Demons._

* * *

flicking a piece of white-blonde hair from his face, the aformentioned ferret leaned his head back and snorted most un-malfoy-ish-ly.

"When is my wonderful gramps-in-law coming over? For dinner, right?" he quiried.

harry potter (nowjosh)smirked as he dispelled the ghostly image of himself and turned to face his husband.

"Actually", he replied,"he should be here any minute." this was met with widdened eyes and the smirks of two children as well as the attempt to stiffle giggles coming from eva. In an instant, Draco had bolted from his seat, hands already going up to his collar to undo buttons as he ran (walked swiftly) down the hall in order to get dressed for dinner with the most feared diplomatic power in europe- Lord VolDeMort. At the very moment the closet door slammed open against the wall, the door bell wrang. this doorbell- in a catchy rendition of " yo ho a Pirate's Life For Me"also signaled the slam of a bedroom door that was followed with much colorful and imaginative cursing. some of the curses were magical in origin. mostwere not.

outside, voldemort irritatelytapped his foot as he waited for his grandson or great grandchildren to open the door, and cursed forgetting to put a feather-weight spell on the packages he carried. his cursing was, like draco's; mostly not of magical origin.

* * *

As the family gathered around the table, the four adults at the table and the children at the kitchen serving island on stools, the adulst fell into conversation of the Grandfather's supreme reign over the isles of britain -- then the incompetency of dumbledore -- which led to talk of the twins getting their hogwarts letters -- which was followed by an intense and heated debate on wether sweet or dill pickles were better -- and eventually, to the weasley's appearance in their home earlier that day. 

"You really should have seen their faces" draco exclaimed; waving around a fork that had had texas potatoes on it, some of which landed on voldemort's beautiful nose. (A/N: its like a button, so CUTE!)

"indeed." replied volDeMort; obviouslyholding back from cursing draco as he wiped his nose if the look of malevelent restrained indulgance that showed on his face.

what they didn't realise though, was that at that very moment, carbon monoxide was seeping itno the very air of the residense, thick as smoke; aided no doubt by the several order of the pheonix members which has been alerted to voldemort's presense when he stupidly cursed ron and hermione on his walking up to the door.

slowly, and painfully, the entire family died- looking red and asphixiated (except draco, who only looked a bit pale, being as perfect as he is)their faces thrown into extreme disfigurement, except the demented twins who actually had potion skills and had recognized the smell of the carbon monoxide with their snape-like noses. they lived- and inherited the family fortune, and the isles of britain- because nobody really cared about the current system of government, they just really hated voldemort. so everyone lived happily ever after, until in a fit of rage deamos burned them all to ash, and in doing so destroyed all magical beings on earth, turning it into the dull place we live life in.

go figure.

okay. that's it. i really couldn't think of anything better. i don't even realy know the names of the characters it's been so long. oh well. hope you enjoyed it . if not. review and leave your own ending. i'd love to hear it. who ever comes up with the best will have it posted here, with a total disclaimer for their name so that when j.k.r. decides to sue everyone she sues you instead of me. happy holidays. and a great new year.

Dude, who is this guy


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